12.25.2007
6.28.2007
It's All About: Cornbread
Who doesn't love cornbread? I mean seriously. The stuff's delicious. Gimme some warm cornbread fresh outta the oven with some honey butter and I'm in heaven. I believe Chris Rock said it best:"Cornbread: Ain't nothin' wrong with that."
6.18.2007
It's All About: Sharpies With the Sharp Tip Still Intact
You know what sucks? I'll tell you what sucks. It sucks when you go to look for a Sharpie and you pop off the cap to see a round little nub that makes writing difficult, sloppy and unsatisfying.Also, you really do have to LOOK for a Sharpie. Have you ever noticed how no one ever knows the exact location of the nearest Sharpie? My theory is that the Sharpie falls in a sort of limbo category. It's not a pen that you use everyday; it doesn't warrant a spot in the desk pen-cup. But it also doesn't belong in the often-ignored box of poster-making/decorating supplies. So I think that people try to put their Sharpies in the most convenient spots: near the phone, by your stack of blank CDs, etc. This is where we get into trouble. You can't just start scattering pens everywhere people! It's chaos!!!
This problem of Sharpie location only compounds the real issue at hand here. If you spend all that time finding a Sharpie only to have a crap time writing with it, it can be an angering experience.
This, my friends, is why it's all about Sharpies with the sharp tip still intact. All problems are avoided and you can write permanently in peace.
6.05.2007
It's All About: Procrastination
Ever since I was a little girl, I tried as hard as I could to avoid doing anything that required real work, especially if the task at hand was something I simply didn't care about. At 20, in my second year of college, I have officially perfected the art of procrastination. It's a delicate art, not to be taken lightly, and truly understood by only a few.
As it happens, right now I'm supposed to be researching and writing an 8-10 page paper that's due on Thursday and counts for 65% of my grade in that class. But I'm not. I haven't even started. You see, the key to perfect procrastination is to actually do something other than what you're supposed to be doing. If you sit around on your duff and waste away your time, you run the risk of feeling guilty later, and as this is supposed to be a pleasurable activity, guilt is something to be avoided. The best thing you can do is to accomplish something else: something not required of you, something optional that doesn't require much effort, something you want to do, that you're excited about doing, perhaps that you've been putting off because you haven't had the chance. This way, you've actually been productive, you've haven't technically wasted any of your time, so there's nothing to feel guilty about and you can be proud of your accomplishment.
What about later, you ask? Well. The second step to procrastinating properly is something much more difficult to master. This is the part where you actually do what you've been so carefully and joyously avoiding. Now, what makes this part so difficult is that you must leave yourself just enough time to finish your task before the deadline. This extreme pressure gives you an adrenaline rush that, along with whatever caffeinated beverages and stimulating drugs you've been downing, allows you to stay awake and focused so you can properly complete your task, and actually do it well.
The best part, the part that it's mostly all about, is when you've finished, and you can sit back and mentally crown yourself with a laurel wreath and throw yourself a a party for being so awesome, because you did what you needed to do AND you were productive earlier. Double whammy.
I know procrastinating isn't for everyone. Some people just can't handle the risky roller coaster of thrills. That's okay.
As for me? I'm going to finish this sandwich sitting next to my laptop, probably get some ice cream from the kitchen, maybe make a few phone calls, and eventually study for my final exam this afternoon. The paper will have to wait for a more appropriate occasion.
6.01.2007
It's All About: Pre-Movie Slides
Note: I should preface today's entry by stating that the following should definitely be filed in our nostalgia department. Pre-Movie Slides are not something I enjoyed or appreciated in their heyday, but now that they're gone, I can clearly see how glorious they truly were.
It's all about Pre-Movie Slides. Not today's variety, with the "in-depth" look at upcoming movies and 60 second Coke and Fanta commercials. I mean the old ones, single slide advertisements and trivia questions, with the only accompanying audio the gentle droll of "Century Radio"(or some facsimile varying on your theater chain of choice).
At this point you might be saying "How can you say it's all about advertisements?" Well friend, take a look at what we're forced to sit through now, and let me educate you on why the days past are days to be smiled upon.
The major difference between today's "pre-show entertainment"(PSE) and that of yesteryear's is the evolution from stills to video. Clearly it didn't take a genius to come up with this idea. The transition from from still images to video is one that has taken place in essentially every part of entertainment. So why doesn't it work here? Well, for one, we don't go to the movies for pre-show entertainment, we go for the movies.
It doesn't matter if a man juggling firesticks stands in front of the theater before the movie starts; we pay our ten bucks and show up to watch a movie. Anything before that is just killing time. Also, just because there's been a technical development does not mean it is suitable for all occasions. For instance, humans used to only drink water. Then we invented gatorade. But we don't drink gatorade ALL the time. We still want water maybe once or twice a month; we shouldn't abolish it altogether.
This particular evolution offends in a variety of circumstances. Although not inherently a social activity, movie going has become that: most of our visits to the cineplex are in the company of good friends and good spirits. So when we show up to the film early in order to ensure that we don't miss anything, our first impulse is naturally to enjoy the company of our compadres. But with todays video previews we're conflicted. Most of the time we're seated in front of video we're actively watching it, not just having it on in the background (especially on a 90 foot screen). Torn between the discussions of our friends and the onslaught of visual stimuli, our brain is left a tangled web of confusion, anxiety and frustration, which in turn exponentially lengthens the wait for the feature presentation.
What of those scenarios in which we venture to the theater alone? Still, the old stills reign supreme. The option of conversation unavailable, our next impulse is to turn to the deep realm of our thoughts. We can spend those gentle pre-movie moments lost in our heads, pondering the following days activities or any work or projects we're committed to. These idle moments lend themself to the enjoyment of daydreaming; much like waiting for a bus, or sitting in church. But again this luxury of the past is made difficult if not impossible by the presence of todays updated PSE.
Yet another element that reveals the wonder of the old slides is an aspect inherent to PSE: repetition. Depending on how early you get to the theater, you're almost guaranteed to see at least a few ads repeated. In the days of yore this wasn't an issue; so what if you see a few of the same slides again? At its worst the repetition here gives the group douchebag an opportunity to make a joke about the answer to a trivia question we've already seen answered. But with the modern addition of accompanying audio that also repeats in sync with the visuals, the offense is much greater. Think how annoying it is when you see the same commercial multiple times during a TV show; now think how much less annoying it is if the TV is on mute.
This repetition also hurts us on a larger scale. If we venture to see films more than few times a month (as we all should), no doubt will we be treated to the same tired commercials and featurettes, along with their blaring soundtrack. Before, this was not an issue.
Much of the charm of the old PSE comes from their simplicity. Low budget, typically local ads were a welcome relief from the large nationwide ads most commonly seen in our day-to-day lives. The old PSE simply projected a series of single slides. But now theres some production value invested (as well a standardization across theater chains), and they attempt to entertain, educate, and sell. The loftier the goal, the greater the failure. And the modern PSE is certainly a failure.
I'll conclude with the disclaimer that your mileage may vary with this experience. Depending on where you live and what theater chain you frequent, you may still be treated to the simple elegance of the old slides, and consequently may fail to appreciate their greatness. I beg of you, do not take these quiet moments before a film for granted. If the quality of today's PSE were somehow improved (though we seem to be moving in the opposite direction, bafflingly striving towards previews before previews), of course this could lessen the "Its-All-About" nature of the old slides. But for now, it was definitely all about those old slides before the movies.
It's all about Pre-Movie Slides. Not today's variety, with the "in-depth" look at upcoming movies and 60 second Coke and Fanta commercials. I mean the old ones, single slide advertisements and trivia questions, with the only accompanying audio the gentle droll of "Century Radio"(or some facsimile varying on your theater chain of choice).
At this point you might be saying "How can you say it's all about advertisements?" Well friend, take a look at what we're forced to sit through now, and let me educate you on why the days past are days to be smiled upon.
The major difference between today's "pre-show entertainment"(PSE) and that of yesteryear's is the evolution from stills to video. Clearly it didn't take a genius to come up with this idea. The transition from from still images to video is one that has taken place in essentially every part of entertainment. So why doesn't it work here? Well, for one, we don't go to the movies for pre-show entertainment, we go for the movies.
It doesn't matter if a man juggling firesticks stands in front of the theater before the movie starts; we pay our ten bucks and show up to watch a movie. Anything before that is just killing time. Also, just because there's been a technical development does not mean it is suitable for all occasions. For instance, humans used to only drink water. Then we invented gatorade. But we don't drink gatorade ALL the time. We still want water maybe once or twice a month; we shouldn't abolish it altogether.
This particular evolution offends in a variety of circumstances. Although not inherently a social activity, movie going has become that: most of our visits to the cineplex are in the company of good friends and good spirits. So when we show up to the film early in order to ensure that we don't miss anything, our first impulse is naturally to enjoy the company of our compadres. But with todays video previews we're conflicted. Most of the time we're seated in front of video we're actively watching it, not just having it on in the background (especially on a 90 foot screen). Torn between the discussions of our friends and the onslaught of visual stimuli, our brain is left a tangled web of confusion, anxiety and frustration, which in turn exponentially lengthens the wait for the feature presentation.
What of those scenarios in which we venture to the theater alone? Still, the old stills reign supreme. The option of conversation unavailable, our next impulse is to turn to the deep realm of our thoughts. We can spend those gentle pre-movie moments lost in our heads, pondering the following days activities or any work or projects we're committed to. These idle moments lend themself to the enjoyment of daydreaming; much like waiting for a bus, or sitting in church. But again this luxury of the past is made difficult if not impossible by the presence of todays updated PSE.
Yet another element that reveals the wonder of the old slides is an aspect inherent to PSE: repetition. Depending on how early you get to the theater, you're almost guaranteed to see at least a few ads repeated. In the days of yore this wasn't an issue; so what if you see a few of the same slides again? At its worst the repetition here gives the group douchebag an opportunity to make a joke about the answer to a trivia question we've already seen answered. But with the modern addition of accompanying audio that also repeats in sync with the visuals, the offense is much greater. Think how annoying it is when you see the same commercial multiple times during a TV show; now think how much less annoying it is if the TV is on mute.
This repetition also hurts us on a larger scale. If we venture to see films more than few times a month (as we all should), no doubt will we be treated to the same tired commercials and featurettes, along with their blaring soundtrack. Before, this was not an issue.
Much of the charm of the old PSE comes from their simplicity. Low budget, typically local ads were a welcome relief from the large nationwide ads most commonly seen in our day-to-day lives. The old PSE simply projected a series of single slides. But now theres some production value invested (as well a standardization across theater chains), and they attempt to entertain, educate, and sell. The loftier the goal, the greater the failure. And the modern PSE is certainly a failure.
I'll conclude with the disclaimer that your mileage may vary with this experience. Depending on where you live and what theater chain you frequent, you may still be treated to the simple elegance of the old slides, and consequently may fail to appreciate their greatness. I beg of you, do not take these quiet moments before a film for granted. If the quality of today's PSE were somehow improved (though we seem to be moving in the opposite direction, bafflingly striving towards previews before previews), of course this could lessen the "Its-All-About" nature of the old slides. But for now, it was definitely all about those old slides before the movies.
5.31.2007
It's All About: It's-It and Snickers Ice Cream Bars
Here's the thing about ice cream treats: 99% of em suck. I was a child once, and in the years of my youth I got a little crazy in the ice cream department. As such, I feel like I am an expert in the field of frozen novelties. In my extensive and delicious research, I have come to the conclusion that two ice cream treats stand head and shoulders above the rest.
The It's-It, for those of you not in the know, is a chocolate-covered oatmeal cookie sandwich containing vanilla, chocolate, mint, or cappuccino flavored ice cream. It may be a little difficult to eat (it totally sucks when you try to bite through both cookies and the ice cream pops out the sides), but once you've developed a good method for gettin' down to business it's smooth sailing into Tastysville. Population: you.
The Snickers Ice Cream Bar stands on the opposite end of the eatability spectrum. Its candy bar shape is the ultimate in ice cream portability. Gooey caramel and peanuts top peanut butter flavored ice cream and the whole thing is covered in chocolate.
As we get into the summer months, it is extremely important that you know how to cool off properly, and these two ice cream tools will help you get there. Happy feasting.
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